THRASHING your London rivals without Cole Palmer – now that’s cold.
After Chelsea drew a blank in their opening game against Crystal Palace, they found an unintended and unlikely solution as they humiliated woeful West Ham.
After the visitors scored their fifth goal, a young Hammers pitch invader provoked mayhem on the touchline as home frustrations boiled over.
Yet it had been the away supporters on edge before kick-off.
Eagle-eyed Chelsea supporters fans were concerned when they saw Palmer, their talisman and top scorer from last season, limp out of the warm-up.
They were more worried still as the England star re-emerged from the tunnel wrapped up in an unseasonal anorak and took a seat in the dugout.
And after Lucas Paqueta unleashed an early goal-of-the-season contender in the sixth minute to give the home side the lead, even the true Blue believers must have had a few doubts in their minds.
But the 11 players that Enzo Maresca put on the pitch did not.
In less than half an hour, they turned the game on its head with three well-taken goals in a ruthless spell of attacking that they were not supposed to be capable of delivering without Palmer.
Joao Pedro continued his hot streak since joining from Brighton for £60m by scoring the equaliser and laying on the second for Pedro Neto.
But it was the third goal that really oozed promise for Chelsea’s season.
It was a fabulous move involving teenage Brazilian Estevao, signed for an initial £29m, and Liam Delap, a £30m recruit from Ipswich.
Estevao became the youngest Chelsea player to register an assist in the Premier League, at 18 years and 120 days, by running on to Delap’s lay-off, sprinting through the West Ham defence and crossing for Enzo Fernandez to score from close range.
Palmer and his trademark celebration were absent but it was turning into a chilling evening for West Ham despite Paqueta’s early scorcher.
Further goals from Moises Caicedo and Trevoh Chalobah made a chasing into a rout.
What little positivity there was around West Ham had collapsed along with their team in the second half of their defeat at newly-promoted Sunderland on the opening weekend.
Graham Potter was quickly installed as favourite in the managerial sack race, and the scene was set for a toxic night.
And so it proved, despite beginning so well – with the five hit against the Hammers tonight adding to the three against Sunderland making it the most they have ever conceded in the first two games of a top-flight season.
Estevao was at fault in the build-up to Paqueta’s stunner, as his backheel in his own half was easily intercepted.
Fellow Brazilian Paqueta still had plenty to do. With nothing on ahead of him, he had a go from more than 25 yards and an unfavourable angle.
But Paqueta struck the ball with such power and swerve that Robert Sanchez barely had time to flick an arm as it roared past him into the side-netting.
It was just the beginning of the best few minutes of the Premier League season so far.
Hammers wing-back El Hadji Malick Diouf did well to head a dangerous cross behind for a Chelsea corner.
But the home defence did less well from the set-piece, as Marc Cucurella flicked on Neto’s delivery for an unmarked Pedro to head home.
The Hammers thought they had gone ahead again when Niclas Fullkrug forced the ball in, but Jean-Clair Todibo had been offside earlier in the sequence of play.
It did not stay 1-1 for long as Paqueta turned from hero to villain. After a heavy touch on the edge of his own box, he lost a hard but fair challenge with Chalobah, and while the Brazilian whined, Chelsea dined.
Pedro crossed to the far post and the finish was meat and drink to Neto, who stole ahead of Aaron Wan-Bissaka.
Chelsea began to take the mick even before the third goal arrived, with Fernandez and Moises Caicedo passing the ball to each other a few times without being challenged.
But the Argentinian soon supplied the final touch to the lovely move involving Estevao, Malo Gusto and Estevao again.
Suddenly it was 3-1 and the away fans were in ecstasy. “Is there a fire drill?” they asked as some West Ham fans headed up the steps, either for an early drink to ease the pain or perhaps even to head home.
There were boos at the half-time whistle and you feared things would get very ugly indeed if Chelsea scored again quickly after the break.
Fernandez missed a great chance to do so, but relief did not last long.
Hammers goalkeeper Mads Hermansen flapped at a corner and Caicedo prodded the ball home via the crossbar.
West Ham were soon undone by another setpiece, with Chalobah scrambling the ball into the net from close range.
There were already big gaps in the stands when Sanchez made a fine save to deny West Ham half-time substitute Freddie Potts and Caicedo cleared Kyle Waker-Peters’ shot off the line.
There were ironic cheers from the remaining home fans when Estevao failed to convert a chance to make it 6-1.
Even the injured Palmer may have allowed himself a smile at how his team played without him.
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