IT was a game of football so thrilling, so manic, so ridiculous and so glorious that even Alexander Isak must have wished he had turned up for work.
After a ten-man Newcastle – with the striking Isak on his sofa and the brainless Anthony Gordon in an early bath – had staged an extraordinary comeback, Liverpool did what champions do.
They won it and they won it with a strike from a 16-year-old debutant, Rio Ngumoha, in the 100th minute.
The Premier League simply has to stop it with these outlandish plotlines. This felt like fake news, simply too far-fetched to be true.
It was like those two epic 4-3 Liverpool wins over Kevin Keegan’s great entertainers. Only more so.
Before the intervention of sub Ngumoha – stolen away from Chelsea’s academy and a star of Liverpool’s pre-season – Newcastle seemed to have seized an unlikely point having discovered a Scandinavian striker who was willing and able.
Will Osula, the Dane signed from Sheffield United last year, had leapt off the bench to net a late equaliser in this great Isak grudge match.
But it simply wasn’t possible for this night to have been any crueller for Eddie Howe’s Newcastle as Ngumoha swept home his late winner.
With the Swedish Arthur Scargill refusing to play and with Gordon having seen red before half-time for a reckless challenge on Virgil Van Dijk, the Toon then had to suffer their summer transfer target Hugo Ekitike seemingly seal a comfortable Liverpool win.
But that wasn’t even the half of it. Inspirational skipper Bruno Guimarães, gripped by some sort of mania, headed home to reduce the arrears before Osula nutmegged Alisson to equalise.
Yet it wasn’t enough and now Howe must either attempt to reintegrate Isak into his side after he had missed a night like this – or Newcastle must sell to a club who are surely capable of retaining their crown without the sulking Swede.
The Toon Army raised their decibels to the sort of levels which cause earthquakes – first to howl at Liverpool for unsettling Isak, then at the officials after Gordon’s red card and then to rouse their heroes into a crazed comeback.
They did not deserve to witness such an agonising defeat.
But for Liverpool, this was some victory – one they will remember vividly if they are crowned champions again in May.
Newcastle were trailing to a Ryan Gravenberch strike when Gordon – the boyhood Reds fan who wanted a transfer to Merseyside last summer – produced his brainstorm.
It felt as if sackfuls of salt were being rubbed into Geordie wounds after the home supporters had created a wall of noise in a furious opening half-hour.
Then Liverpool wilted amid the bedlam and Toon staged the most remarkable fight back here since they roared back from 4-0 down to draw with Arsene Wenger’s Arsenal – only to blow it at the last.
Before kick-off, it had been a surprise that Sky hadn’t set up a sofa-cam in Isak’s living room to find out which side the striking striker was cheering for.
The Geordie nation had turned the amp up to 11. It was louder than the night Paris St Germain were spanked 4-1 here in a Champions League match in 2023.
Every Liverpool error and every Newcastle tackle were cheered as if the Toon had won another trophy to add to the Carabao Cup final they lifted the last time they crossed swords with Slot’s side.
Slot and Howe tried to hand out tactical tips from the touchline. It was like trying to play chess in the moshpit at a Napalm Death gig.
Gravenberch was booked for a reducer on Guimaraes, Florian Wirtz had a bending shot pushed away by Nick Pope but it was chaos and din, a series of high-speed collisions played on a loop.
Harvey Barnes crossed and Gordon headed on to the roof of the net at the Leazes End to strangled cries from the distant Gallowgate.
When Liverpool played keep-ball, the noise became so shrill that eardrums were perforated.
Then, out of nowhere, the champions scored. Cody Gakpo laid off to Gravenberch who arrowed a low shot inside the post.
Suddenly, all you could hear was the Scousers in the altitude-sickness seats in the Leazes.
Dan Burn kicked Salah up in the air to earn a booking and then came Gordon’s brainstorm.
Van Dijk was making a clearance when Gordon careered towards him and cleaned him out.
Ref Simon Hooper awarded a yellow card but VAR John Brooks ordered him to have another look and the whistler was left in the unenviable position of announcing the overturn on his mic to a mutinous home crowd.
“Premier League, corrupt as f***!” they hollered but their anger was misdirected.
The second goal arrived so soon after the restart that Slot hadn’t even reached his technical area, Ekitike drilling home his third in as many games.
How the Toon could have done with the Frenchman. And if Isak does sign for Liverpool, could the Swede even displace him at centre-forward?
Still, Newcastle refused to go down quietly. From a Tino Livramento cross, Guimarães headed home at the back stick.
Suddenly, Liverpool were under the cosh and looking rattled, with the natives bringing the noise and Osula striking.
Then came the kid. And then came that cruellest of ends.
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