[Ed. note: if you don’t know the show Derry Girls and the wonderful character Sister Michael, I suggest you remedy that forthwith. It’s much more entertaining to watch than this game, I promise.]

Well, apparently you have some atoning to do, because somehow you’ve arrived here at the 2026 Mariners season, watching a fruitless game between two eliminated teams. The Angels, staving off a 100-loss season, managed to come out on the upper end of this particular tug of war, beating the Mariners 7-5. At this point you might be asking yourself:

And you would be right. The 2026 Mariners: putting the wake in Wake Me When September Ends.

Bryce Miller…

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