JOHN TERRY has opened up on the dark moments that followed his infamous Champions League final penalty miss.
The former Chelsea skipper would have won it for the Blues in 2008 if his effort in the shootout had gone in.
But he slipped moments before spooning his spot-kick onto the post – and Manchester United went on to triumph in sudden death.
Blues icon Terry was inconsolable after spurning the chance to win what would have been the club’s first Champions League title.
And he’s now shed light on the troubling thoughts that whirred through his mind after returning to his hotel room on that night in Moscow.
Terry told the Mennie Talks podcast: “After the game, we all went back to the hotel and I was on the 25th floor.
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“I was looking out the window going, ‘Why? Just why?’. I’m not saying that if you had that opportunity you’d jump, but things go through your head at that particular time.
“Then the boys came up and took me downstairs. It’s those ‘What if?’ moments where you just don’t know.”
Terry spent nine more years at Chelsea and finally got his hands on the Champions League crown in 2012.
But even that was tinged with bitterness as the red card he picked up in the semis saw him banned for the final.
Terry won five Premier Leagues and a host of other major trophies during a glittering Chelsea career.
However, those accolades weren’t enough to eclipse the penalty slip that still haunts him to this day.
He continued: “Still today it goes over in my head. It’s softened over the years, for sure, but when you’re playing, you kind of compartmentalise it a little bit and put it to the back of your head.
“Now I’m retired I’ve not got that focus of playing every week and having that buzz, it still really gets me.
“I still wake up in the middle of the night and go, ‘Oh, that did happen, yeah’. I don’t think that’ll ever go.
“When I missed the penalty in Moscow, you find out very quickly who your friends are and who the people who really care and look out for you are.
“It’s those moments that really make you realise that friends in football are few and far between. But the real ones, at the difficult moments, do kind of stand out.”
If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please call the Samaritans for free on 116123.
How to get help
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide
It doesn’t discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It’s the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it’s rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
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