So it turns out having a fully staffed team makes spring training games a little more fun to watch. The Mariners made Cleveland pitching miserable tonight, stacking a 10-run inning in the second that featured three home runs en route to a 20-8 victory, with most of those Cleveland runs coming in garbage time. If this is a preview of Opening Day, when Seattle will welcome Stephen Vogt and his Guardians to town, it’s safe to say most Mariners fans will take it.

As much as I love our Seattle announcers, I love being lazy more, and so I listened to the Cleveland broadcast team rather than dig out the radio and try to sync things up, and I am glad I did just this once because it was interesting to hear an outside perspective on the Mariners. The Cleveland crew was impressed, to say the least:

“This seems like an offense with a ton of answers.”

“This is what this club can do to you. You don’t bring your A-game against Seattle, you become a punching bag.”

“Canzone and Robles would be starters on other teams. That’s just how deep Seattle is.”

“This offensive machine for Seattle just keeps on clicking.”

“There’s just not a weakness on this club. Top to bottom, there might not be a better ballclub in the American League than Seattle.”

It is thrilling to hear other analysts cooing over the Seattle Mariners – thrilling in the true sense of the word, both exciting and scary – and still a little bit unbelievable, like: the Seattle Mariners? The Seattle Mariners, the baseball team? Our Seattle Mariners?

The Mariners scored the majority of their runs in the second, racking up 10 runs on three homers. It started with a titanic Cole Young solo shot as he continues his hot hitting this spring:

The Mariners then small-balled another pair of runs on a double by Brendan Donovan, a beautiful deep drive to the gap that it’s not hard to imagine overlaid in T-Mobile Park, scoring Andrew Knizner and Leo Rivas, each aboard with singles. Guardians starter Logan Allen then walked Julio Rodríguez, triggering the mid-inning ejector button from manager Stephen Vogt, who brought in Tyler Thornton, who…really struggled with the zone. He hit Randy Arozarena, earning himself a powerful [glaring in Cuban] and loading the bases for Dominic Canzone, who got this pitch and did not miss it:

“You simply cannot throw him that pitch” was the trenchant commentary from LL’s Ryan Blake and I have to say, there’s a reason he’s a SABR-nominated analyst, folks.

Thornton then issued back-to-back walks to Connor Joe and Cole Young, up for the second time this inning and officially fulfilling “batting around” by however you determine it (but does it count if the tenth man walks and thus does not have an at-bat? Much to think about), which set up Victor Robles for his first homer of the spring:

It’s been nice to see Robles’s bat waking up over these last few games of the spring. It’s probably just that he’s past the shoulder stiffness he was dealing with earlier in the spring, but I like to believe he truly is powered by the power of friendship and was sad while all his friends were gone.

The Guardians actually got out to an early lead in this one against Gabe Mosser, who gave up a two-run blast to José Ramírez in the first. The Mariners’ 10-2 lead was imperiled briefly in the bottom of the second when Mosser gave up another two-run shot, this time to Angel Martinez. But the Mariners offense quickly re-established the length of their lead in the third.

Per spring training rules, Logan Allen was able to re-enter the game in the third, and while he didn’t give up a bunch of homers this time, the Mariners cruelly decided to torture him with death by a thousand cuts, racking up four straight singles against Allen to open the inning, making the game 12-4. Young and Robles then teamed up again for back-to-back doubles to stretch the lead to 15-4 and knock Allen out of the game for a second time, as Jay Driver cleaned up the mess.

I have never thought of Stephen Vogt as a cruel man, but bringing Logan Allen out for a third time to start the fourth inning is forcing me to reconsider. Allen was roughed up again in the inning, giving up a two-run homer to Julio, who you know had to get in on the homer parade with his first of the spring, scoring Brendan Donovan, who had singled. Donovan was on base four times with three hits and a walk, and the one out he made was a sac fly in the fifth that scored the Mariners’ 18th run of the game. Oh, but sorry, you probably wanted to see Julio’s first spring dinger:

Meanwhile, Mosser was cruising until the fourth, when with two outs he seemed to get either fatigued or just lost his handle on the zone. He lost a challenge on a close pitch that resulted in a walk to Austin Hedges, then gave up a double to C.J. Kayfus and walked Steven Kwan on five not-particularly-close pitches to load the bases, prompting Dan Wilson to bring in UW alum Stefan Raeth to try to extricate the Mariners from the jam. Raeth fell behind Brayan Rocchio 3-0 but was able to battle back with two well-located fastballs, getting Rocchio to ground out harmlessly on the second one to quell the threat.

Matt Brash had the fifth inning and…the command is still a work in progress at this point. With two outs and one on, he walked Gabriel Arias on four pitches, nibbling a little more than we would like to see, but also our Canadian friend looked mildly uncomfortable in the 98-degree heat. The desert is not his milieu! He managed to get out of the inning without damage, though, getting Angel Martinez to ground out. Now get him onto an air-conditioned flight back to Seattle, please and thank you. Also on that flight, I hope: José A. Ferrer, who pitched a solid scoreless inning with a walk and two strikeouts.

Cole Young pushed this game even further into laugher territory with his second homer of the game in the sixth, scoring Canzone, who had singled for his third hit of the game [he would go on to have four because he played all nine in this one]. This home run came courtesy of former Mariner Matt Festa and if Statcast is to be believed, traveled 478 feet. I’m not sure about that, but I do believe it came off the bat at 109 because that sucker was flying. Tom Hamilton, the Cleveland announcer, was audibly relieved when Young got pinch-hit for in the eighth – “Cole Young’s night is finally done” – and that’s just a wild world to live in. I’m not well-versed enough in non-Mariners young players to know: has anyone had a bigger sophomore spring than Young?

Casey Legumina, mopping up with the Mariners up 20-4, got touched up for three runs to make the game 20-7, and Carlos Vargas pitched the bottom of the eighth and mowed down the Guardians min0r-leaguers, with two groundouts and a strikeout, needing just 11 pitches. He was so efficient Dan Wilson had to bring him back out in the ninth, where he wasn’t as sharp, walking the first man he saw before striking out Luis De La Cruz and ceding the mound to Peyton Alford. Alford let in another run – although it wasn’t totally his fault, as Will Wilson (whose defense seems to actively be getting worse as spring goes on? What’s going on with my defensive loadbearing third baseman?) threw the ball away on what could have been a groundout or at least an infield single – but recovered to strike out his last two hitters and deliver the Mariners a very satisfying palate-cleansing big win. On to Opening Day!

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