DECLAN RICE had played in more than 400 matches as a professional footballer and never scored a direct free-kick.
In fact, Arsenal’s £105million man has barely ever taken aim at goal with a dead ball in almost two seasons at the Emirates.
So how about this then? In a Champions League quarter-final against the reigning, and 15-time kings of Europe, Rice decided to score two of them inside a dozen minutes.
And both from 25 yards. Both mugging off Thibaut Courtois, one of the finest keepers in the world.
As the Emirates erupted in an ecstatic bedlam – bodies everywhere like some kind of an orgy – Arsenal’s non centre-forward Mikel Merino lashed home a third and Mikel Arteta’s men had secured a commanding lead to take into the Bernabeu next Wednesday night.
Real Madrid are never knowingly beaten before a tie is over but the Gunners are in touching distance of a first Champions League semi-final in 16 years.
And they have already beaten both of their potential last-four opponents, Paris St Germain or Aston Villa, this season.
What a night this was. The best the Emirates has ever known in its 19-year history – better even than the night when Jack Wilshere once skewered Lionel Messi’s Barcelona.
Real, with the starriest cast list on planet football, were utterly shell-shocked – blown away by three goals in 17 second-half minutes.
And Rice was simply magnificent. He ought never be employed as a passive holding midfielder again, as he has often done for England.
He very nearly had four goals in this match – a header thwarted by a brilliant Courtois save and a fierce shot cleared off the line by his England midfield partner Jude Bellingham, who was a spectator for large parts of this feverish evening.
Arteta’s mission was simple – to defeat the most famous club on the planet without a recognised striker and without a first-choice centre-half.
Real had no such issues. Four players, including Kylian Mbappe and Vinicius Jr, who had been threatened with a ban for shaking their wotsits at Atletico Madrid fans after the last round all avoided serious punishment to the surprise of precisely no one.
Luka Modric at 39, old enough to have played in the classic 4-4 North London Derby here 17 years ago – was fossilising, looking a weak link for the visitors.
The former Ballon d’Or winner tripped Bukayo Saka on the edge of the box early on, then was the beneficiary of some generous refereeing from the Bosnian Irfan Peljto, who looked in awe of Arsenal’s visitors and gave them plenty.
Real, shoddy on the domestic front of late, were not looking themselves at all – Antonio Rudiger’s attempted clearance cannoning off Eduardo Camavinga and almost costing an own goal.
After Myles Lewis-Skelly drifted into central midfield and kippered Modric, Thomas Partey had a shot pushed out by Thibaut Courtois.
Vinicius pinged one wide after the referee failed to give Arsenal an obvious free-kick, the Emirates howling with rage.
It took half an hour before Real decided to join in. Bellingham moonwalked around Jurrien Timber and slipped a pass to Mbappe whose shot was smothered by David Raya.
Mbappe was beginning to get footloose but it was more meme content than genuine goal threat.
Saka fired a couple of low centres across the face of goal but, as we thought we knew, there was no centre-forward.
Shortly before the break, Courtois had to earn his corn. Rice’s downward header was pushed out instinctively before Gabriel Martinelli’s follow-up shot was blocked by the towering Belgian keeper.
Arsenal went into the interval heartened yet there was still anxiety around the place. With Real, you never know when the ignition switch will flick.
Early in the second half, Ancelotti started performing keepy-uppies in his technical area. The old dude won this thing twice as a player, not just five times as a manager, in case anyone had forgotten.
But then the party started. Saka dribbled infield and was upended by David Alaba and for once Peljto gave Arsenal a free-kick to the ironic cheers of the home crowd.
There was a lengthy confab between four Arsenal players before Rice was given the honours, ahead of Saka or Martin Odegaard.
Rice sized it up, wrapped a foot around the ball and curled it with power around the wall and past a flailing Courtois. Wallop.
There was a minor earthquake in the stands and Arteta’s men scented blood.
Now every Arsenal challenge, every pass, was cheered.
Soon, Lewis-Skelly released Martinelli, whose shot was pushed out brilliantly by Courtois, who then defied the false nine Merino.
From the following corner, Bellingham cleared off the line from a fierce Rice drive.
The £105million man had the devil in him. And then Saka was fouled again, 25 yards out, as if Real hadn’t learned their lesson.
This time Rice went for height and dip, with the same result – Courtois is 6ft 7in, he dived full stretch and didn’t get remotely near it.
Soon, it became ridiculous. Lewis-Skelly, full of it, cut inside from the left and fed Merino who whipped a first-time effort past Courtois.
It was the Spaniard’s sixth goal since taking over his makeshift striker duties.
Arteta’s men were pedal-to-the-metal. Real Madrid – the actual Real Madrid – were roadkill.
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